Chapter 2

Sleep. It continued to elude me. I stared at the ceiling, wondering how I had gotten myself into this mess. True to his word, Jimmy had cleaned out his side of the closet in our small apartment. He took most of the furniture, and half of the kitchenware, along with most of the towels and sheets. I sighed, and got up from the lumpy mattress where I had spent many exhausted nights during nursing school. It hadn't mattered much then whether my bed was comfortable or not because I was so tired I didn't care.

The morning had dawned bright, and it promised to be a sunny day. The blackout curtains in my bedroom had given me an illusion of midnight in that cramped space, and I waited for my eyes to adjust to the light streaming in from the windows. The apartment actually looked much bigger with all of his stuff gone, and I looked around, thinking of what I would do with the space now. He'd left my easy chair, so that was something, I guess. I flopped down into it, closing my eyes and praying that my mind would just shut itself off, letting my body get some much needed rest. I had just started to relax when a sharp rap on the door flung me smack back into reality. Groaning, I got up to see who would be brave enough to wake the dragon known as me at this time of day.

He stood barefoot in my doorway, wearing faded jeans and a white tank shirt. His face was angular, but set with wide brown eyes that peered directly into my own green ones. His hair was long, a sort of chestnut color, with streaks of honey showing in the loose ponytail he'd pulled it back into. He was holding a basket of what looked like work clothes, and I could smell mechanical oil and sweat. Manly sweat. The kind of sweat men like Jimmy could never make. I tried to pull my eyes back up to his while the scent pummeled my senses. But I got distracted by his mouth halfway up his face. He smiled, and I noticed that one of his teeth was crooked. But those lips... "Can I help you with something?" I asked, annoyed at the girlish tone my voice had taken.

"Hi, I'm Allen. Just moved in a few doors down. I was wondering if you could point me towards the Laundromat?"

I paused for a second before answering. "Down the stairs, third door on the right. 34B usually does their wash about this time, so when you hit the smell of bleach, you'll know you're in the right spot."

"Thanks," he said as he shifted the weight of the basket. I saw the corner of a beaten paperback tucked in the side as he walked away from my door. He was headed for the stairs at the end of the hall, and I gotta tell you, the view from the back was just as excellent as the front. I closed my door, turning the lock back into place....and let out a long slow breath. Maybe sleep would come to me after all. Sleep, and sweet dreams.

 

I arrived early, as usual, checking the assignment board to see where I would be tonight. I wasn't being floated, so that was good news. I shoved my tote and jacket into the skinny little locker, mashing the corners of my bag to make it fit. I was gonna have to downsize that thing sooner or later. I grabbed my stethoscope and scissors from the top shelf, shoving the scissors in my pocket along with the five or six pens that usually had a safe home there. Tonight I was taking report from Jason. He was new, like me, although I really got the feeling that he was 'getting it' faster than I was. He'd graduated a semester ahead of me, so he'd been around a bit longer. Just a bit. I still have times when I feel like I'm drowning, and he just looks so confident. Maybe it's a guy thing? Who knows... but I knew that he was happily married with a couple of kids. Maybe things like that make a guy self assured.

Tonight I only had five patients, one of whom was scheduled to be discharged as soon as I could get the paperwork done. Cool. Easy night. Wait... hold that thought... because the minute I acknowledge the thought, it becomes chaos. On our floor, the 'Q' word (quiet) was absolutely forbidden. Because once uttered, it was as if the gods of stupidity rained down on the community, and patients started showing up in droves. Don't say it, don't even think it.

So I made my rounds, introduced myself to my patients, and went to check my charts. I was knee deep in the second one when I heard a vaguely familiar voice.

"Hi, do you know-" he stopped when he recognized me. "Hey! I didn't know you worked here." He was leaning on the counter, with a look that seemed to say I was the only person on the planet right that second. The hair that had been loosely pulled back this morning was now pulled tightly into the sexiest ponytail I had ever seen. See? This is why I never should have thought it would be an easy night. I tried to unscramble my brains long enough to make a reply, when Laura walked up.

"Hey, are you the new guy?" she asked brightly. He twisted his torso towards her, still leaning on the counter, and my heart did a little leap when I saw the thick ropes of muscle on his arms. Oh my god... I didn't know they made men who looked like that anymore. I'd been out of the dating scene for so long it wasn't even funny.

"Hi," he said, sticking out his hand, "I'm Allen. This is my first night, and I'm supposed to be looking for someone named Laura."

My friend smiled, then tossed me a glance before addressing him again. "I'm Laura, and this is Annie" she said, nodding her curly head in my direction. "Yeah, we met earlier. Same apartment complex and all" . She used the moment he glanced back over at me to raise her eyebrows just a bit.

"He was looking for the laundry room." I felt like a complete idiot the minute the words were out of my mouth. He flashed that crooked grin at me, and I thanked my lucky stars I was already sitting down, because my knees were apparently now made of jelly instead of bone, muscle, and ligament.

Laura took his arm, and said "Let me show you around the unit." She flashed a look at me, the kind that said "What are you thinking?" as they walked off.

Snap out of it! yelled the voice in my head. The rational one that kept me from doing stupid stuff. You aren't even divorced yet, and you're acting like some hormone struck teenager on prom night. Ughh. I hated chicks who did stupid things around a man just because he was good looking. He was probably a pompous jerk anyways. Never met a good looking guy who wasn't. And yet, the other voice in my head whispered a painful reminder: look what the safe route got you last time. An image of Jimmy flashed in my head. Yuck. I shook my head and focused back on the charts in front of me.

 

I didn't see him again for a few hours. All my meds were caught up, initial assessments done and charted, I'd finished the discharge paperwork for my patient who was leaving, and was on the phone arranging her ride back to the nursing home. As I hung up the phone, I felt a very odd sensation, like little fingers dancing across the back of my neck. I turned around, and there he was. Lounging in the chair like he'd been here for years instead of hours. "Anything I can help you with?". His voice had a slow drawl to it, husky, and very male. His chocolate brown eyes had a sort of twinkle to them, like there was some private joke he was rolling around in his mind that was too good to share.

"I'm fine, thanks. Don' t you have patients of your own to worry about?" Now that I'd had a chance to think about it, he had to be agency. I'd never seen him before, even when I had been orienting on days. I would remember that face... and that hair. The feral part of me wanted to drag him across the desk by that ponytail and plant one smack on him... just to see what he would do. My mind was pulled out of the gutter instantly when the twinkling became dark. "Never mind then". He swung his feet off the low desk and disappeared around the corner. He brushed past Laura on her way back to the nurse's station. She had a confused look on her face, and said "What's up with him?"

"I don't know. Maybe the agency isn't paying him enough". That was a mean thing to say, and I knew it the minute it slipped out.

"He's not agency. He's orienting with us. New grad, just like you. Seems nice enough. You guys probably have a lot in common. He worked as a tech through school, same as you did."

Hmmm. There was some food for thought. "Where's his badge, then?"

"HR was closed by the time he got in. He's got to go back in the morning and pick it up." She had a funny look on her face while she was staring at me. I shifted some papers on the desk, looking at them instead of her so she couldn't see the flush I felt coming into my cheeks. I was being a bitch, and I knew it, but I didn't know why.

"I'm gonna go ahead and grab something to eat, the nursing home driver will be here in the next hour or so to pick up Mrs. Brown, will you let me know when they show up?" I didn't look up at her, afraid that she would see my expression. Laura is an exceptionally observant person, so trying to hide something from her was three shades of useless. I used the opportunity to escape to the break room to grab some cash. Maybe I'd get lucky and the cafeteria would be serving a nice big bowl of 'Niceness', and I could stop feeling so guilty. I'm not a mean spirited person by nature, but this was crazy, on so many different levels. I've never met a man that made me... what's the term? Hot and bothered? Well, I was definitely bothered... but as to the why, I had no earthly idea.

I could feel Laura's eyes watching me as I walked away from the station, my steps carrying me towards the stairs. I needed to burn off some energy, and three flights of stairs felt like it might just do the trick.

The cafeteria wasn't crowded, since they really only served the night shift. I waved to a couple of people I knew, and looked to see what was on the menu. No big bowl of 'Niceness', but there were some very edible looking burritos. "I'll take one of those" I said to the grill cook. She looked tired, and didn't say anything, just handed me the Styrofoam plate and went to wait on the next person. I poured myself a glass of tea to go with my burrito, paid for my meal, and went towards the dining room. Only three steps in, and there he was. A big slice of sexy pie, sitting in the corner by himself, looking like a poster boy for male nurses in his khaki scrubs. He had a fork in one hand, the newspaper in the other.

I sucked in a big deep breath, and headed his direction. "I'm sorry." There, I'd said it. Blurted it out at him was more like it, but hey it was totally verbal, right? "I didn't mean to snap at you before. I'm a little cranky at the beginning of a shift, and..."

He laid the newspaper down next to the cheap plastic tray, and gestured with the now empty hand towards the seat across from him. As I took my seat, I couldn't help but notice he was staring at me. Not the way most men stare at a woman, but rather like a connoisseur admiring a piece of art. I felt my stomach do little flips.

"How about we start over?" Oh god, that voice... rough and smooth all at the same time. My brain was all ajumble again, but I heard myself saying "I'm Annie. Nice to meet you". He held out his hand to shake mine, and all I could do was stare at it. He had man hands. Real man hands. The kind that looked like they belonged to a man who worked for a living. I studied them, completely absorbed in the long fingers, the roughened palm. I could see calluses on the heels of it, and I had an aromatic memory of his laundry basket from that morning, the smell of oil and sweat. It made my mouth water, just a little bit.

"I've washed them, I promise. Recently, too". I realized that I had been staring, and reached up to shake the proffered symbol of goodwill. "I'm sorry, sometimes I just have moments where my favorite color is clear."

He laughed, and I knew right then that this was the man for me. He had a deep, throaty laugh, the kind that made a woman glad to be in his company. My stomach did a few more flips. "That's a good one," he said, still laughing. I wasn't good at this, had never been good at this. You know those girls in high school, the ones that always had the trendiest outfits, the perfect hair? The Barbie Brigade. Every boy in school wanted to get in her pants, and every girl wanted to be wearing her pants? That was not me. I was the invisible brain that spent homecoming night doing a paper that wasn't due for three weeks. This guy struck me as the one who nailed the head of the cheerleading squad, and lived to tell the tale.

"What school did you go to?" he asked, his long fingers pulling a piece of the burrito apart. I could watch those fingers for hours.... I wonder what else they could twirl around like that... Stop it! I could hear my inner voices warring. This was so unlike me.."Northwestern" I heard myself say.

"Cool. I went to State. Almost went to Northwestern, but it was too much driving for clinicals. You been here long?" Looking up close, I saw now that his eyes weren't really chocolate. Brown, yes, but lighter. Not quite hazel... almost like chocolate glass. I could get lost in them.

"A few months. What brought you here?" I was being nosy, and I didn't care. I wanted as much information about this man as I could get. It wasn't just that he was gorgeous... or that he had man hands. Okay, maybe that was a big part of it, but there was something about him that pulled at me. Something I couldn't put my finger on. Something that demanded my full and undivided attention.

My nose caught a whiff of expensive perfume before he had a chance to answer. "Allen? Is that you? Oh my god, I'm so glad to see you!" It was Susan, from the maternity ward. She started here about the same time I did, but that was where the similarities ended. Susan was classic Barbie Brigade, all blonde hair and big blue eyes. She had those pouty lips too, the kind lots of women paid big bucks for. Killer body, perfectly tanned. She probably spent more on her perfume than I did on a month's worth of groceries. He stood up to embrace her, holding on to her as if they were mated for life. "Hey, how are you? I haven't seen you since graduation. What have you been doing with yourself?"

I could see where this was going. Super hot guy, head cheerleader type... no room for me. I stood quietly, and made my exit, dumping my tray on the conveyor belt. I didn't have an appetite anymore. Story of my life, blown off for the gorgeous bimbo. No, that's not entirely right. Susan was sweet, but her sweetness had the vibe of coming from someone who knew she was better than you. Not in your face type, but the kind that came out of sincerity. I'm not really sure which was worse.

What I did know is, whatever interest I had in this man had to be kept to myself. Now the question was, how the hell was I supposed to work with him?